Thursday, February 19, 2009

LOST AND LOST-ER

LOST: Elephant. Female, gray, seven feet, ten inches tall. This cuddly animal has two tusks, one slightly longer than the other. Weighs approximately 2,600 pounds. Answers to the name of Claudette. Last seen in neighbor’s garden eating cabbages. If found, please return to 2784 Maple Ave., apartment 3C. Kids are heartbroken. Will consider reward if returned soon.

LOST: Eight hamsters, eleven guinea pigs, six white mice, fourteen rats and a canary named Barbara. If found, call 555-4444 after 8:00PM and ask for Rupert.

LOST: Python. Multicolored, nine and a half feet long. Docile due to possible recent feeding. Goes by the name of Squeeky. Last seen behind couch, chair and bookcase. If found, call 555-4444 after 8:00PM and ask for Rupert. If a woman answers, hang up and call later.

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